I’ve been debating whether or not I should post this letter for a while now. It is essentially saying that I have until Spring 2013 to finish my court reporting classes or I’m screwed, unless they do decide to do the virtual campus thing, then I’m okay (until they decide that it’s not worth paying for a teacher, server space, or whatever, then I’m back to bending over and being at the mercy of my college.)
If everything went to according to the original plan, I would be graduating at the end of this summer. This is not the case, as I’m about a semester behind when it comes to my speeds. I should be writing at 140 words per minute, but I just reached 120 wpm.
This means I either A) reach my speeds by Fall 2012 and graduate or B) work my ass off and push myself to try to finish my realtime classes by this summer (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh dream life, you’re so silly) or C) get stuck on some speed barrier around 180 wpm, waste two semesters, and not make it and get dumped by my school and ruin everything for everyone. Forever.
*Note: Even if I did do what my dream life insists, I would still have to wait until fall to graduate, since that’s when they decided to have the court reporting procedures class. If the school didn’t pull this shit, the class would have been this Spring.
"You can finish the court reporting program in two years. People do it all the time!"
That’s what they tell you. They leave out the bit that the people that do finish the program on time are the kids that are fresh out of high school, living with their parents, and have no job. They can spend their entire day on their machine if they so wish.
If you have a job or a kid or any other responsibilities that’s contending with practice time, then you’re looking at finishing the program in three but mostly four years. The school is only going to give me three and that’s it.
I’m burning out. I really haven’t done anything since I received this letter at the end of October. People are dropping left and right (there’s three people in our class now.) I skipped many classes, including my regular classes not related to court reporting. Every now and then, I try to do homework, but I just practice briefs and controlled writing, and skip the speed building practices.
I let my wonderful 3.87 GPA drop to only-the-gods-know-what because of lack of motivation, unbearable pressure, and yeah, depression doesn’t help this situation at all either. I have my fancy new machine and I don’t want to touch it, or caress it’s keys, adjusting the tension ever so slightly so strokes come out perfectly. I haven’t even signed up for court reporting classes for the Spring semester yet, but it’s not like I have to fight for a spot (and I just found out that they are still making decisions on how they are holding the classes anyway.)
This week marks the last week we have classes before finals. Then we have a month long break. I honestly don’t care about anything right now, because it’s all just going to be full of suck.
*Note: I lied. I actually care about everything (even stupid small shit that I should just let go of) which leads to extra pressure and then the tears start and before you know it, we’ve just taken a left turn into the wrong side of Melodrama City. So yeah, we’ll be having a not-so-merry fuss-mas and a sobbing new year.