A list of Corben’s imaginary friends, just in case…

  • Yak - (@ age 2)The first imaginary friend. Was an actual yak. Lasted about a year
  • Sun - (@ age 3-4)Totally fucked up. It was an actual sun, that was his son, named Sun, but was a girl from outer space and my age. Lasted about a year.
  • Shingy - (@ age 4)Showed up sometime after Sun. Generally a nice invisible friend (except for tonight when he was discussing “killing her” (me!?) with Corben.) After tonight, Corben told me that he forgot to give Shingy his invisible medicine. Is 5 or 6 years old. Current -1 year and counting
  • Pump - Showed up with Shingy. Used to be a problem, always bothering Corben, yelling at him, and being a pain. I kicked him (Pump) out of the house for a week. Corben then told me that he went to school and learned how to apologize and play nice. Is 4 years old. Current - 1 year and counting
  • Sin - (@ age 4)Shows up every now and then. Usually quiet. 5-6 years old. Current-ish - 6 months
  • Fall - Shows up with Sin. Quiet. 4 years old. Current-ish - 6 months
  • Bince - (@ age 4) proud owner of an invisible dinosaur/dragon and invisible unicorn (upgraded horse.) Unihorse name unknown/forgotten. Shows up every now and again. Not consistent. 
  • Harry and Hermione - Little dude is obsessed. Corben “built” a(n invisible) house for Harry & Hermione at my sister’s place. Fuck Ron, I guess.

And yes, he does have actual living, breathing friends.

"Kids that say fucked up things and how to handle it"

or

"Imaginary friends say fucked up things but it will all be okay and you won’t get murdered in your sleep"

Corben’s Halloween costume 2014. Something wicked this way comes!

Titty Master, Dean Ambrose

Knitting some thrummed mittens for Scott’s mom. She’s a great lady with cold hands.

BF glances at this for two seconds

"Oh, that’s when McMahon turned Mick Foley into Dude Love. It was like, Aprilish of 98."

(Source: jillsandwich)

New glasses!

A few months ago, I told my managers they needed to give me a raise otherwise I’d leave the company. They did and it finally was approved by the corporate office! They also gave me 600 hours worth of back pay. 600 hours…

I’m still in shock.

Finding affordable and stylish glasses is the worst. I’m not sold on either of these 😢👓💲😔

Boners everywhere!

In Boner We Trust. United States of Boner.

I have a doctor’s appointment for my eyes next Monday. I’m pretty sure my insurance will only cover a tiny portion of my new glasses.

Anyone know where I can get cute, fashionable and inexpensive frames? 

  • Me: Thank you for getting rid of your disgusting, dead-spider infected pillow. You really shouldn't have a one for over 20 years.
  • BF: ...
  • Me: Are you... are you actually sad about it?
  • BF: How do you think I feel. I had that pillow longer than you had a mother!
  • Me: ...

Never have I wanted to go to something so badly in my life. Jesus Christ.

I made Divine to go along with my John Waters. Unfortunately, I can’t push back hairlines. :( I made Divine to go along with my John Waters. Unfortunately, I can’t push back hairlines. :(

I made Divine to go along with my John Waters. Unfortunately, I can’t push back hairlines. :(